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THE MATCH MAKERS Private search firms fill the gap for successful
executives seeking romance
By Cindy Waxer
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Photographs by Frances Juriansz
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CHERYL
HAWKING* KNEW
the prognosis wasn’t good. Middle-aged, divorced, mother of four
and overworked physician aren’t exactly the adjectives eligible
men use to describe their ideal woman. Seedy bars and speed
dating were definitely out of the question. And Cheryl’s brief
flirtation with the online dating service Lavalife produced
nothing but in-box glut.
Tired of being alone, Cheryl did what an
increasing number of highly educated, well-paid partner-seeking
professionals are doing: she hired a matchmaker. Banish all
thoughts of Yenta in Fiddler on the Roof. Today’s matchmakers are
highly skilled schmoozers with A-list Rolodex entries and
non-refundable retainer fees. Prices can range from $1,200 a year
to $25,000 for unions that result in wedding bells.
All it took was four months, $1,200 and two
dates for matchmaker Gloria MacDonald of Toronto’s Perfect
Partners to introduce Cheryl to the man of her dreams—a highly
successful lawyer with two kids of his own. Inseparable for a
year now, Cheryl’s more than pleased with the return on her
investment. “To have met someone after only two matches who I
think is wonderful, how could you put a price tag on that?” she
says.
It’s no wonder singles like Cheryl are paying top dollar for the
promise of companionship. If pop culture is any indication,
flying solo has lost its cool. Single life-affirming television
shows like Sex and the City and Friends have
segued into the syndication bin just in time to make room for the
domesticated protagonists of Desperate Housewives and Trading
Spouses.
What’s a freshly separated, typically
fortysomething Canadian to do? Many resort to online dating
outfits. A Google search of “online dating service” coughed up
nearly two million options, from JDate.com for Jewish singles to
AshleyMadison.com for discreet adulterers.
Despite this vast selection, many well-heeled
and hard-working professionals like Cheryl simply don’t have the
time—or the patience—to sift through scores of awkward e-mail
messages from less than savoury suitors. And that’s precisely why
they’re handing over their hearts—and hard-earned dollars—to
matchmakers like MacDonald.
MacDonald guides her clients through a
relatively painless procedure. A former marketing executive, she
modelled her two-year-old business after an executive search
firm. For $1,500, MacDonald conducts an in-depth interview with a
client in the comfort of their own home where they discuss
factors such as lifestyle needs, partner expectations, physical
preferences and career goals.
MacDonald then sifts through client profiles in
her database, seeks out personal referrals and explores a whole
host of resources to find an appropriate match. Once a potential
match is identified and the individual agrees to an introduction,
MacDonald calls her client to personally run through a
candidate’s qualifications and the reasons for making a
particular selection.
While most customers sign up for a standard
package, MacDonald says an increasing number of singles are
opting for the private executive search option. For upwards of
$25,000, MacDonald will travel throughout North America and as
far as the U.K. in search of a suitable fit, as well as craft
targeted advertising campaigns in an effort to lure the right
candidates.
Ruth Claramunt also offers the option of a
private executive search in addition to providing a standard
matchmaking service. Claramunt is the president of Hearts, a
professional introduction service with offices in Toronto and
Vancouver. “People have become very choosy as to who they’re
looking for,” says Claramunt, noting a recent 40 percent increase
in demand for the strictly one-on-one personalized service.
At a cost of $10,000, Claramunt takes on only
one or two private executive search clients at a time, while it’s
not uncommon for Hearts to be simultaneously managing the love
lives of nearly 1,200 regular clients. But more surprising than
the sheer number of Canadians who have enlisted the help of a
matchmaker is the startling realization that the majority of them
are highly intelligent and tremendously successful singles. “You
would be shocked if you knew who some of my clients were,
absolutely shocked,” says Claramunt, refusing to name the
“celebrities” and well-known “media personalities” she calls
customers.
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'You would be shocked if you
knew who some of my clients
were, absolutely shocked'
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So what’s stopping so many of today’s wealthy singles from
hooking up on their own? Nancy Ross has a theory. A Toronto-based
psychotherapist with 30 years’ experience, Ross has counselled
her fair share of career-obsessed, overworked on-the-outs
couples. The problem, she says, is that establishing a successful
career in a competitive marketplace and opening oneself up to a prospective
partner calls for the collision of two drastically different
worlds. “I don’t think it’s easy to focus on getting a career
going while being vulnerable and available enough for somebody
intimate to come into your life,” says Ross.
John Brownlee would be hard-pressed to disagree.
Brownlee recently launched Executive Life Partners, a
Toronto-based matchmaking agency. He says he takes on 15 to 20
clients a year, 80 percent of whom have already tried their hand
at marriage. “As successful as they are in business, their social
lives are in disarray,” says Brownlee of today’s financially
blessed yet romantically challenged singles.
Brian Wilmont* is certainly no exception. The
owner of a top advertising agency in Toronto and the father of
two, Brian says that following his divorce five years ago, he
quickly discovered how ill-prepared he was for the dating scene.
“A lot of my life was focused on running my company and raising
my sons with not a lot of time for going out and socializing,” he
says.
Still, hooking up strangers with high
expectations, serious time constraints, young children and
emotional baggage is no easy feat. Cupids such as MacDonald,
Claramunt and Brownlee all have their work cut out for them. For
starters, they must conquer the city’s great gender divide.
According to Statistics Canada 2001 census data,
there are five percent more females living in the Toronto area
than males. However, a further study of men and women who are
single (i.e. never married, separated, divorced or widowed) reveals
that the imbalance between males and females just gets
progressively worse. Between the ages of 35 to 59, the shortfall
of men to women is about 17 percent. The result is a “buyer’s
market” for men.
Then there’s the task of weeding out candidates
with ill intentions. Despite advertising in upscale publications
such as Toronto Life magazine and The Globe and Mail,
Brownlee of Executive Life Partners says he’s received his fair
share of shady requests. “I’ve had women call me looking for a
sugar daddy and I’ve had men in their 60s call me looking for
women in their 20s,” he says.
Fortunately, 20 years as a full-time matchmaker
has sharpened Claramunt’s antennae for detecting gold diggers. “I
can pick it up in five minutes,” she says, wearing her radar like
a badge of honour.
And then there’s simply the chore of convincing
worldly and well-educated singles that enlisting the help of a
matchmaker shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment. Hearts
candidate Brian says that while he struggled to meet women, the
decision to hand over his love life to a complete stranger was
initially a tough sell.
That is until Claramunt got the ball rolling.
Sensing she was “an immensely intuitive lady,” he immediately
signed up. Two months later, Brian was handed a binder containing
the profiles of five women who Claramunt believed were ideal
mates. Brian went out with four of the women, and then fell hard
for the fifth. They’ve been dating for nearly three months—a
coupling that has helped him see the ancient art of matchmaking in
a new light. Chuckling, he confesses: “Some ideas are just good
from the start.” 
*Names
have been changed.
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