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That
Elusive Search for Mr. Right or Dating Shmating
by Rosemary Keevil
There seems to be much hullabaloo these days
about dating and meeting someone "good enough" for a lifetime of
commitment. In the article, Single Women
Seeking Suitable Mates (A/M
Scarlett), Patricia Robertson writes that women have upped the ante on what
they expect in a man - largely because of what they have come to expect of
themselves. Women are marrying later, therefore are single longer. They are
more educated and making decent money - decent enough to support
themselves.
Being a managing
editor I am constantly sifting through a plethora of information. Since Scarlett included dating in its
most recent issue I have noticed a number of "opportunities for
singles" in my daily perusal of the piles on my desk. And I have to
ask: Why the heck is so much energy put into the pursuit of the right man?
What about the concept of living your life to the fullest and if a great
guy happens upon the fulfilled you, what a bonus!
My lawyer, of all
people, wrote in an e-mail.
"I was at
this incredibly interesting club that would be fun for you to write about.
Sally and I went after work as we had seen it and the décor looked so neat.
It turned out it is a singles club that serves tapas etc. and you can go
twice for free and then you have to join."
The website for
Campoverde describes itself as Canada's First Social Club (Vancouver) and
verifies what my lawyer explained.
"It is a
salon type atmosphere that gets people talking (not drinking) and the
average age that goes is something like 40. The owner, Rachel Greenfeld,
says Campoverde boasts a bunch of successes in terms of marriages and
committed relationships."
My lawyer is very
married.
I also heard from
long-time, see-once-in-a-while buddy, Julie Burke. She owned and operated Everything Done
Right catering company and now does culinary team building. She e-mailed
me, well, Scarlett, this news release/invitation.
Tall Order Culinary
Team Building
Julie Burke serves up serendipity - a culinary excursion for singles.
A night of serendipity
Aphrodisiac canapés
Sip champagne and head for the kitchen, the centre of great conversations
and full participation cooking.
A chance to meet someone special with your hands in melted chocolate!
Thirty-four adventurous hearts are invited to our inaugural singles and
serendipity evening at an exclusive private home.
I asked Julie how
she came up with this idea. "You know me. I am creative. This is what
I am all about. I do relationships around food. My work with culinary team
building for corporations is working so why stop there?"
Besides, says
Julie, "If all goes to hell you can concentrate on your avocado."
But Julie needs men. "This is typical. Men are afraid of commitment.
Women are so easy to find."
And, by the way,
Julie is also very married.
Finally, a
colleague passed onto me a clipping from a magazine.
It reads:
"The Matchmaker, Jane Carstens, professional cupid. 'I've got the best
job in the world; I get to make positive changes in people's lives. Without
the services of Hearts, many of our successfully matched couples would
never have had the chance to meet. In using Hearts, clients feel confident
they're taking a proactive, organized, business like approach to finding a
life partner.'"
The ad says
Carstens and Ruth Claramunt "run a highly personalized boutique
matchmaking service based in Vancouver and Toronto."
The Hearts
website declares: "Everyone goes to a specialist these days. If you
want to buy a home you go to a real estate agent who has all the available
listings. Well, for dating Ruth has all the available listings."
Well, my, my ...
so finding the perfect mate has become akin to finding the perfect home ...
has become so cold that we have to go about it "professionally."
Perhaps it is
simply that people are suckers for trying to meet the right person so the
Rachel Greenfelds, Julie Burkes and Jane Carstens of the world are simply
good business women capitalizing on an opportunity - the preponderance of
lonely hearts out there. Perhaps, "Meet The Right Person" sells
just as well as sex does. Perhap, it is just a rear entry into the business
of sex.
Perhaps, I am the
world's biggest cynic.
Perhaps, I am the
world's biggest romantic.
I have always
held the theory that if you actually go out of your way to try to meet
someone it can only be contrived. Why not pursue your own interests - join
a photography club or a running group, take tennis lessons, sign up for
hang-gliding school, check out your local art galleries, join a computer
workshop or a how-to-write-a-book seminar ... catch my drift? Pursue what
you like because you like it. What a concept. It's a no-lose situation. You
are doing something you love doing. You are a more fulfilled person. You
feel better about yourself because you are spending any leisure time you
may have productively.
And, oh yes,
there is a risk you might meet that special someone.
I did … on the
driving range. Mind you, it took 12 years.
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